SHARING A HUBBY...............

Growing up as a little girl I always dreamt of getting married to my “prince charming”.  An imaginary guy who is tall, with brackets and has pink lips. Don’t we all? As I grew from being a little girl to a woman the interest in marriage just grew out of me. I started appreciating men for something more than just their looks.

 In our African society marriage is considered be sacred. It is a unity that brings not just two people together but rather two families together. Women become attracted to men for different reasons, wealth, and intelligence, character their ability to take care of a women, you can name them all. That same guy I personally want for myself only, especially if we talking about marriage.

 One thing I could never understand about our African marriages is “POLYGAMY”. Yes, maybe it would be better to know that my husband is with his second wife next door other than some girlfriend he met at work, for me nothing justifies it. Maybe it was really ok for women in previous generations. This is a different generation and could never understand “Isithembu” (Polygamous marriage).

I really wonder at times what women want from a relationship, the Armani perfume they get for valentine, the min cooper’s between the birthday and Christmas or is it the mansion in Santon that makes women settle for less.  Maybe some of us want to be just like Khanyi Mbawu, eating their croissant and blue cheese for breakfast.

It just irritates me to know that one person is getting the better of two worlds at the same time; even our President Jacob Zuma is getting the best of five. It just doesn’t make sense to me, why can’t I sleep in the same bed with my husband and enjoy our life together rather than sharing that life with another woman. I am actually tired of the excuse that men have, “It’s in our nature to have more than one partner”. I mean you are one person, why can’t you share your life with one person.  

As much as polygamy is part of our African culture, I certainly disagree with it. I could never bare it at all because it is not the number of women a man has that we can identify his wealth and success.  The President himself is not setting a good example when it comes to gender equality and the transmission of infections may entail. Now where does one man have the strength to love five different women? He certainly cannot love all of them completely the same way. Just the thought of being second, third, fourth or fifth is not understandable. It would be interesting to hear what young men think of polygamy.

At the end of the day the women I am talking about here are educated women and are capable of taking care of their own expenses. Sometimes I truly think people would do just about anything for status and power. And when you reflect back on life it was just not worth it.